Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Top 10 Crappiest Feelings

      Well, this is my first post from my Playbook... sooo convenient, yet my typing speed is compromised =/ Oh well =) So it's two days before the first day of school [YAYY! - not] and I'm feeling oh so very crappy!!! its due to a combination of reasons so its quite  complex to explain but I know that im not the only one swimming in self pity, doubt, reluctance and no hope, as a perfect start for the new year [wats up buddayys] lolz. So why are you all feeling crappy? I can't pin point my reason because its a shitload, but from my 18 years of life experience soon to be 19, it'll be my pleasure to present to you the top 10 reasons that have caused us all to feel like shit and regret our existence. I do apologize if this post comes off as depressing, I'm in a crappy mood after all.... what more did you expect?

Top 10 Crappiest Feelings:-

Crappy Feeling #1
            That crappy feeling you get when your crush finds out you like them or is presented with the idea of dating you from someone other than you, and their reaction is one of 'that will never happen' laughter, followed by a snort of disgust and "Oh yea no thanks, never will I ever like her/him" or maybe the plain old 'WTF are you thinking' silence and everyone around them is laughing as well because such an idea is just as impossible as cow saying quack. This crappy feeling rings in with a gut twist as everyone acknowledges your presence....
Trust me...I would know; when I was younger, I'm not sure why probably because he had blue eyes, I had liked this boy. Well one lunch time he was chillin' with his friends and they thought it would be very fun if they started teasing and making fun of each other, blah blah blah they were tossing these jokes at each other until one of them said, "Oh yeah, well you like insert my name here", now this was such a gay feeling, I did feel quite bewildered and speechless, I mean I never had a crush like me back before..... and then I saw his face in horror as the laughs rang in, him joining in the laughter as well. I doubt they even knew I was there, but I still felt my gut twist. Now I go for guys with grey eyes =P So to those of you who've had a similar experience, I feel your pain, you are free to hate the world lolz.

Crappy Feeling #2
            That crappy feeling you get when you're left out of something/feel like the third wheel, and you're just tagging along for the whole thing because you have no where else to go and you just sit there, while they talk about shit you've never heard before and no one has the courtesy to explain what they're talking about. And while you're sitting there being almost invisible, you suddenly become really religious and you start praying and asking God, making deals with him that this day/event/ what ever period of time you have to spend with these people, comes to an end...FAST! So this happens to me quite frequently believe it or not, mostly when I'm with two people who happen to spend more time with each other than they've ever spent with me, or people who aren't too nice. Sometimes it's voluntary because I have no idea what to say, and well at times like this I wish I was invisible so they wouldn't be expecting an contribution from me- they usually don't. But whether voluntary or involuntary it does feel shitty to be the third wheel, because it's so frigging uncomfortable. Imagine yourself sitting with a wedgie and resisting the urge to pull it out, that's exactly how third wheeling feels while resisting the urge to throw yourself of the chair and flop like a fish out of water. Not only uncomfortable, you feel awkward as if you should really be here and you feel extremely bored!! Whenever I'm third-wheeling I like to sit and think of all the better ways I could have been spending my time and I like to plan what I'm going to do when I get home, I think about my next blog post and it eases the pain.The next time you're a third-wheeler try my tips, if makes you feel less shitty and more productive.... buy yourself some chocolate... lots of chocolate.

Crappy Feeling #3
            That crappy feeling you get when you're watching a romance movie and you're thinking "Omg that was so sweet sniff*, I'm so going to do that for my lover! I'd be the best boyfriend/girlfriend ever! Imma pwn relationships!!! -And people say it's hard", and " I wish my lover was thoughtful enough to that for me...I wish they were romantic enough to say something like that, that was the perfect line for that moment! -I'd make that moment last forever", and then your movie comes to a beautiful end and you go to bed thinking about how beautiful that shit was, and you finally wake up to reality  and realise, that you don't have a lover to do those beautiful things for, you don't have a relationship to pwn unless you want to consider your pet or your mom, you don't have a lover who could be thoughtful and well you can't make moments by yourself last forever, because then you'll just be the same loser.... and you feel like crap when you think that it just might be this way forever, especially at this rate.They say relationships are hard, well for some the hardest part of a relationship is getting into one. Oh shit yea! This is one heck of a crappy feeling... help yourself to a tub of ice cream, eat till you numb the pain. Don't know what this feels like? Lose the lover if you have one and watch any one of these movies [Lots of genres to choose from]: Never Been Kissed, Penelope, Just Go With It, Prince of Persia, Letters to Juliet, Love Actually, Snow Queen, Ever After, Titanic and if you're feeling especially HindiBindi you can try Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Jodhaa Akhbar, Kaho Naa Pyar Hai or Dilwale Dulhania Le jayenge. Now this crappy feeling can also be brought about by reading books with these love episodes, by witnessing PDA; well basically couples doing things together and hearing other people talk about their relationships and love life.

I don't know why, but this makes me feel like I should be in love =/ [Feels Crappy] But it's really pretty, love the colors and it's a really nice song actually.

Crappy Feeling #4
             That crappy feeling when you get your period. When you get your period it's as if all Hell breaks loose. You guys will not know what it feels like [Hopefully?] and you often think that we're being sissy and we need to get over ourselves and stop acting as if we have it so hard because you all have to deal with some tough stuff yourselves. As a girl I'll make it fairly simple for you to understand why this needs to be #4. Getting  your period makes you feel very crappy; first you get all this damned pain, for most of us this pain feels like someone took a large sharp bread knife and stabbed it into our lowest abdomen and as if that wasn't bad enough, they begin to twist it! This stabbing sensation of pain can last for up to two days for some, and a day for most sometimes even days, so you need to medicate yourself to help cope with the process. Being bitchy just comes with the fluctuating hormones, you try getting stabbed and being nice. When you get your period you feel very weak and drained, it's also very stressful because you have to be even more self concious. You feel like shit because you look like shit, because you get bloated and feel fatter, you weren't meant to be attracting people at this stage because you can't reproduce like this so you look unattractive.. [YAY!... more unattractive!] Due to change in hormone levels, you start to break out, sometimes mild sometimes really bad - quite unpredictable, so if you have a social function to attend: Delay that shit. You also become really emotional! You will cry for the dumbest shit ever and become really upset with people for the dumbest shit ever and you basically act like a bitch. Personally, I have found myself crying for the dumbest reasons ever, like having to wash the wares or not getting to watch a show I want to see, and I'm not talking about sobs or a little watery eyed, I'm talking about full streamed funeral crying where you  can't breathe with your mouth closed =/ [True stuff man - wow... I'm a mess =| ]

Crappy Feeling #5
           That crappy feeling when you realize that the guy/girl you've been crazy over for years, has only been nice to you because s/he's in love with your best friend. Now this has kill me written all over it but it's #5 because it isn't publicly humiliating really, it's an internal crisis that you must face. To think that every time he/she came up to you and spoke such kind words to strike up small talk, you would swoon on the inside because for this beautiful creature to come and talk to you so sweetly could only mean that they want to be your friend, and if they want to be your friend, they may want to be more than friends one day. To recall those butterflies you would get whenever they approached and when you would catch them stealing glances at your good looks when you weren't looking - that could only mean that they have it bad for you too right? Wrong! They only want to talk to you to be your friend, so that they can cosy up to your best friend, whom they are entirely in love with, therefore shutting down any chance you have with them. So s/he still thinks you're hott right? They keep staring! Sadly, they aren't staring at you, but your friend who's right beside youuuu, let your butterflies succumb to your stomach's pool of hydrochloric acid. Now you feel like shit I bet, but this is where your internal dilemma begins. Do you let them hook up with your friend? Darling don't be jealous, anyone who is too coward to befriend their crush directly and is cunning enough to use you as a pawn isn't worth your time.Let your friend know your opinions on this admirer of theirs, if it is that they are truly your best friend, relay to them your feelings about this person as well. A good friend would turn this person down for sure, makes no sense compromising a friendship for an ass. However if your friend has mutual feelings for their admirer who is truly a genuine person just shy at times,and you believe that they could be perfect for each other, put your needs aside and make magic =D.

Crappy Feeling #6
             That crappy feeling when you're a pity party. Now the only thing worse than drowning in a pool of your own self pity, is to be standing under a torrential shower of pity from others. Which is worst? Being insulted or being pitied. Personally, I'd rather be insulted, this way I know you're being straightforward, you hate me you hate me small thing. However I do have a problem with people pretending to be something they're not... that is nice. For example, you're liming with some friends and people you've never met before and someone feels sorry for you because you're wayyy ugly or you dress like shit and everyone else thinks you're a creeper and they pay you a cheap compliment such as, "Oh you look so nice." You probably didn't even know there was going to be more than 5 people there so you didn't bother to dress up or " Wow, that sweater looks good on you." That was probably the last clean thing you had to wear and it has a knitted unicorn in the front and has no flattering qualities, from  that alone you know they're shitting you up. I mean you know you don't look so hot, everyone else doesn't want to talk to you, so what's up with this person? They pity your loserificness. To be complimented yet insulted at the same time is really hard and a crappy feeling because at first you're  all blushing that someone just told you something nice!! But yea... no! They're just taking pity on your soul. But in all truth you need to forgive these people because they think that they're doing you a favour by lying to you, they don't know any better, and we must pity them for not being able to lie well.

Crappy Feeling #7
            That crappy feeling when you're single for Valentine's day!!! So I've been single for 19 V-days now and well it was never really crappy for me but trust me younglings, prepare yourself for the loneliest shitting day of the year. Those of you with fair understanding of social implications of this 'holiday' will agree somewhat, if not completely. This crappy feeling isn't just reserved for the 14th of February, but also for New Year's eve when you don't have a special someone to bring in the New Year with.... we're not talking about your cat, dog, mom or dad so don't make excuses for your sad soul =P. Also for events like a wedding or graduation or dinner, when you're expected to bring a date and you have no choice but to show up holding your own hands [Because you're the best date anyone can have, including yourself!!! lolz]. The great thing about V-day however, which differs from those other occasions is that on that one day of the year, everything is red and pink, you've never seen so many hearts and beautiful flowers in your life, it's all so pretty!!! Couples are every where doing sweet romantic things, rubbing their relationship in your face and it is at that moment you realise that your life is sad. And then you enter a store for some dumb reason and see all the beautiful chocolates and teddies that are so damned expensive to buy for yourself, that you actually shed a single tear because you don't have anyone to buy these luscious things for you. Your heart sinks! And then you remember mommy and daddy and how you'll always be their perfect little child and how they'll always love you. It is at that moment you realise how pathetic your life is. If your life is as crappy as mine, my parents don't buy me anything for V-day [ this is not vagina day people, cleanse your mind please], so the rest of the night is attributed to some depressing ass love songs, a little crying session followed by some day dreaming of next year's Valentine's... It is at this point I want you to realise that you are doing shit and wasting good precious time! You are too good for this shit! You don't need a day to be loved! You need a bloody month, because you are that awesome! You don't need a cheesy teddy bear or a measly delicious chocolate! NO! You deserved to be showered with gifts!!! - And that's exactly what you'll get... on your birthday! It's only like a few months away... =P

Crappy Feeling #8
            That crappy feeling when someone forgets your name.The Shittiest part of this is when you remember their name!!! Your name is your identity, it's who you are and therefore should be the first thing people recognise about you... or else we'd have to start changing our concepts of tombstones and put our Profile pic on it instead.. not so? And so it goes to show that if you don't know my name, you don't know who I am. Now some people have memory disorders, they can't remember your name even if their life depended on it, so you must forgive them. However there are those that have very good memories, in fact, their memory is so good that if you were liming with a group of  10 models and you were all introduced to them at the same time; they can actually remember the names of the 10 models- and yes your name will be forgotten. From first hand experience I can tell you that this is a crappy feeling, because there I am with my friend talking to someone and two days later they have a very good recollection of my friend's name but not mine, in fact I don't even think they knew I was there really =S. For those people that see me and don't remember my name; seriously brah?! I'm an Indian with a white girl name.... Is it that hard to remember? Now I don't think the problem is so much as forgetting a name as it is as caring to remember a name.And well that's pretty crappy as well, when people don't even think you're worth accumulating in their precious brain space! OUCH! You can't help that they have small brains, not everyone is as brilliant as you are. To this I merely say, remember these bastards.... and treat them with the same disrespect =). An eye for an eye may make the whole world blind, but at least you still have your dignity lolz.

Crappy Feeling #9
            That crappy feeling when you have the cold/virus or sinus. Nothing makes you feel crappier than the constant need to expel mucus through one's nostrils.Sinuses are bloody annoying, if it starts to act up in the morning you feel like your whole day is doomed. You seem to be suffering as much as those with a cold or virus, which when present, make you feel horrible, you can't talk, you can't eat, so much pain. You feel like a stain on society because people scorn your runny nose and constant sprays of saliva through sneezing, and you're basically alienated as many people try to stay as far away from you as possible. The worst is when it takes forever to go away. The best thing that can come from this is the allowance to sleep till you recover, but when in so much pain and suffering, it is really hard to to sleep comfortably.

Crappy Feeling #10
            That crappy feeling you get on Sunday nights before school. Even though this is the worst feeling for me, I rank it as #10 because it is a pain that we all have come to live with. There's no other feeling like relaxing on a lovely Sunday, partying even, only to remember that you need to get up before the sun tomorrow morning to drag yourself to school only to sit in class and be bored to death. Sometimes being in school isn't so bad, especially when you have great friends... but when you don't have any friends in your classes, school becomes hell. The worst thing about Sundays, is that we tend to relax all weekend and we're left hustling on Sunday to complete all our Monday assignments. And we know how teachers like to pack us up with weekend homework - only because they don't want us to get bored and have to waste our time to go out to actually be amused! The best is for people like myself who relax from Friday 2:30 p.m till Sunday 6:30 p.m, and rush down their work all night to go to bed at 2:00 a.m to face a suffering and sleepy Monday. Often I leave my work for Monday because God forbids working on the Sabbath =P. And it's just not the work, even when you don't have assignments due, you don't want to go to school. Sundays just bring an uncomfortable feeling that makes you say "Oh crap! Tomorrow is Sunday", every Saturday. But you can't blame Sunday, on the last day of holidays when school reopens is awful [You're sleeping schedule is all screwed up- Big time!], even at the end of a long weekend is pretty crappy and even when a public holiday comes to an end, our hearts just sink to know that we must return to a place where joy is limited and we must force our lazy selves to work. What can I say, suck it up, you'll be doing this all your life.... and look forward to next weekend <3

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Monday, January 2, 2012

How to Lose Weight in 1 day.

          Happy 2012 readers!! Shesh, I didn't blog since last year lolz but I shall change that =P. Now what about New Year's Resolutions? I know that quite a few of us would have planned to lose some weight this year, if not all. But how do we go about this tedious, almost impossible task? If I knew, I would perhaps be in the best shape of my life, but since I'm not, therefore I don't completely know, I can just share with you my knowledge of what I do know lolz. And what I do know is that no matter your body type, no matter how skinny you are, you will always feel like crap when watching a Victoria's Secret model =/ <----Truth.

           Now diets and exercise routines are for the strong willed and determined, which is by far a description of myself. If you are like me, then you are the kind of person that wants to lose weight, you want to be able to look good in your custom closet but you aren't fully determined to venture into one of those strict diets because you love the taste of food so much.You are probably to lazy to exercise everyday, and can't stay away from high calorie treats and you've considered liposuction but due to its high cost and horrible side effects, you're still the size you are.
           Now if you want to jump aboard the weight loss train this year, I bet the easiest way to do it is to become determined to lose weight and dedicate yourself to weight loss regimes. I've always been seen as fat by everyone, yet that isn't enough to inspire me to lose weight, what works for me however is clothes. A bathing suit perhaps?

         If I buy a nice outfit, I would be inspired to lose weight to fit in it, but how often does one get to wear a nice outfit? Not always, thus I'm always putting back on the weight. So different people would be inspired differently, whether its by today's fashion of by the cruel comments of others or maybe by the health risks you are imposing on your own body, you tell yourself that you need to lose weight. So when I talked about my fashion choices leading me to lose weight, an example would be the saree I bought for my cousin's wedding. 

As you can see, much of the midsection is exposed. And well since I'm such a lazy bum, there was solely one question on my mind- How to Lose Weight in 1 day
            So I pretty much had two weeks to slim down and I decided to go on a fiber diet. So in my brilliant mind, I reasoned that fiber allows for healthy bowel movement so it's like a natural laxative and that it  is one of those foods which take long to digest so I'll be fuller for longer. Also that it requires more calories to digest than it actually stores, so I'd also be burning calories at the same time. Genius! I said to myself and I ventured on this fibre diet along with fruits and lean meats. However on the third day, after a bowl of oatmeal followed by a granola bar, I was feeling barf-ish with all the grains and it's blandish taste. After a few more days I continued my fibre diet, desperate for a flat tummy and then I read that carbs such as grains actually blow you up and well I stopped automatically as the wedding was quite close. However I feel like I've lost a little weight, but in reality this dumb idea has brought no relevant change to my weight, NONE!
              Admittedly, I must say, much to my avail, that this wasn't my first dumb idea I've had on my eager path to lose weight. When I was younger, I faced weight issues much like today but mainly by my own  family, so I had tried some dumb things back then. Well I've tried exercise but I would only exercise for like 15 minutes a day which obviously wasn't enough. Some years after that I reasoned that we exercise to burn fat, so what if there was another heat source besides thine own muscles that can be used to burn fat? And well that led me to picking up the blow dryer and trying to melt my belly fat with that; it seemed brilliant until my skin started to become really hot and I felt like I was deliberately burning myself when it got too hot, sigh* I have no idea what led me to the blow dryer?!Thank God I didn't vouch for a direct flame. Some years after that experience I was Googling how to lose weight - Yes, I Googled =P. And I came across an interesting article, I can't remember what it said exactly but it was around the lines that when you exercise your muscles relax and contract and thus burn fat, so when your body is exposed to very cold temperatures; your muscles relax and contract to regenerate body heat and thus you burn fat. I live in a tropical country so there is no winter for me to try this theory out for a few months, but that night I filled a large bucket with the coldest setting of water from the tap and I brought a bowl of ice cubes and added it to the water and then proceeded to bathe with it. I must say that that was the dumbest thing ever, it was so frickkin' cold!!! Yes, definitely not something I would try again. To this day, I still wonder what the hell made me continue after the first splash of water. I've also tried Nivea Q10 Plus...errr I think you're supposed to use it with exercise for proper results =S.
             But now I've discovered something beautiful?!?!?! Metabolic rate! Your metabolic rate is basically the rate at which your body uses up calories (energy) to perform all its bodily functions. So if you have a high metabolic rate, you're body will naturally use up calories which you take in and that in your body so you won't gain weight. So how to increase your metabolic rate? This made me sooo happy when I heard it; through eating certain foods... and well exercise [not so thrilled by that one]. Yea so eating certain foods helps increase your metabolism, foods such as;
  •  garlic
  •  green tea
  • milk [however milk is very fattening, if you want to lose weight stay away from dairy products, unless you're using skimmed milk and low fat stuff]
  • oatmeal [fiber diet lolz]
  • coffee
  •  water [you should always drink water btw, ALWAYS said Snape]
  •  fish such as: tuna, salmon and sardines
  • berries
  • apples [ apples require more calories to digest than they actually contain, and it's yummy]
  • Curry powder!
  •  beans
  • almonds and 
  • dark chocolate [This makes my day].

 But do keep in mind that this yummy delight is still chocolate so too much of it isn't as good for your heart as it should be.


            Another way to increase your metabolism is by getting the recommended 8 hours of sleep, sleep deprivation slows down your metabolism. Also sleeping with the lights on can also lead to weight gain.
 Another interesting titbit of information is that the colours of your wall can affect your consumption patterns.Colours such as red, orange and yellow increase your appetite while blue suppresses it. So go ahead and paint your whole house blue lolz. Blue kitchen ware i.e. dishes, napkins etc. works just as well.
         Something that has a big misconception amongst young teenage girls is self starvation. For some reason people think that if they starve themselves i.e not eat food which is mainly seen through skipping meals, that they would be limiting the amount of energy they supply their body and hence their body would have no choice but to use up their fat reserves to produce energy thus resulting in weight loss. However this is not so, when you starve yourself, your body goes into panic mode as it's not getting any nutrients and food, so it tells it self, "There is a shortage of food, must save up on food", and thus your body tries to save it's fat stores instead and you don't lose weight. The weight never stays off, it comes back and sometimes twice as much. When you starve yourself you are decreasing your metabolism, so the best thing to do is eat but in moderate proportions.                                   
            The main maths to losing weight is to ensure that the calories you take in is less than the calories you burn. That's pretty much why the calorie count is printed on every food package lolz. So if you really want to lose weight you can start counting, but I'd rather live life day to day and well like I've told my friends, if I had one last day to live I would spend it eating everything I love [Cheesecake] because I wouldn't have to deal with the consequences after. 
             There really is no quick fix to losing weight, not even liposuction because it removes fat cells from a certain area for body contouring, not weight loss and if a proper diet and exercise isn't maintained it can lead to weight gain in untreated areas. So there is no way to lose weight in 1 day, it's an ongoing process and effort- It's a lifestyle.                             
      I don't promote the idea that people should diet and exercise to be rail thin, but diet and exercise because it's healthy  and even though I don't do it, you should. It's about loving your body and being happy and confident as who you are.