Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Violence Against Women

       In honour of UNESCO's International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, which is recognized on the 25th of November, I have come to blog about violence against women. 
Photo: Alice Pasquini / Italy / 2012:

               I haven't much to say, so this should be rather short because I wouldn't want to waste your time repeating all the usual things about stopping violence now and gender equality etc. despite their importance. However I do come to make two points.
              The first, is something you all may know already; the way a man treats his mother is the way he'll treat you. I find it so necessary to bring up this point, because I feel that a lot of young ladies these days blindly go into relationships and end up with the worst end of the stick. The reasoning behind this statement, is that a boy spends his whole life with his mother and by extension, his sister/s and while growing up he can either respect them as equals or treat them like shit. However he treats these important women in his life, is how he will treat his future wife as these customs and this behaviour have been apart of him forever and qualities like that hardly ever change, and it takes very little to send them back to their former selves if they do 'reform'. So I beg, that in our struggle to eliminate violence against women, that young ladies keenly observe their future spouse and ask questions to truly know what they are getting themselves into. Trust me, it's not always obvious, as I know a guy, Zack, who pretends to be a nice guy. He's only 15 and has the worst temper, and often explodes; he curses his mother and hits his sister but if you ever hear him talk on the phone with his girlfriend, you'd wonder if this is the same monster. And his devious mind is surely at work as he pretends to be a loving and caring son and brother only while on the phone with his girlfriend to put on a show. What a good show indeed, because she's surely fooled by his trickery and wouldn't listen to a good word of mine.
            And that brings me to my other point; I have told you the previous story, which by all means is completely true, even though it was embarrassing for me to type and inform you all that I know such an arsehole. In preparing and thinking about writing this blog, I truly had an internal battle of whether to state this or not and even how to state it because I was embarrassed and I'd like to think that along with fear, embarrassment is what also keeps violence going. The embarrassment of knowing an abuser and of being abused is really tremendous, and it coerces you to keep it a secret. It's being consumed by the shame that one could be so weak to let someone take advantage of them, and the fear of being judged for letting this happen. But I want to say that the time for fear and embarrassment must come to an end, and it is time for a revolution. Why should those who have been abused be embarrassed, when those who abuse are much worse. Abusers are the ones that should be cowering in shame to show their faces, they should be afraid of people knowing the horrible acts that they are capable of. It is the fear of the abused that keeps abusers going and keeps them thinking that they are strong and in complete control, and this must end. It is a cycle where the abuser is afraid of letting people know what he does, that if the abused does say something, the abuser will strike again, leaving the abused in greater fear. It's a complicated topic that is beyond my resolve, but I do believe that if we create a loving and understanding environment for those that are abused, they could be more comfortable in disclosing their stories. Let's not move backwards in time and have women cowering in the shadows of their male counterparts but rather let us move forward where equality is real. Let us reform our society, free from stereotyped roles of masculinity and femininity, so that we can be equals amongst each other living without violence.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Le Francais de Google

     Ok, go ahead and hate me!!! I know that I haven't blogged since forever and that's a total breech on the promise that I made about 2 months ago. But in my defence, so much has happened, I need to start thinking ahead and applying to universities and with that comes....... more exams! Yea, so even though I've finished school... school hasn't finished with me! The horror! So I've been trying to get my shit together, and right now I'm taking a break from my shit altogether so I'm blogging!! Yay!! 
       I come to you today with the most meaningless post in the world! Last year I did a post entitled, El Espanol de Google...a phrase of which it's meaning, I have no clue of... but if you haven't seen it before, you can check it out now----> http://hindibindi.blogspot.com/2011/03/el-espanol-de-google.html . So as I mentioned previously, I learned both French and Spanish... and Hindi at some point in my life, but that's really far back and all I can remember is how to say my name; mere nam becky hai. And I don't even think I spelt that correct, or if it the sentence structure is correct to begin with =S So Hindi is definitely out of the question especially since Google Translate doesn't Translate Hindi, and since I did a post for Spanish I figured why not do one for French! YAY! So, I used to do French, I love French  but it has been some time since I've actually had the need to speak French so, it' quite rusty....VERY RUSTY!  Hence forth this is the perfect timing to do this post and put the very little of what I remember to work; as a result, make a fool out of myself for not remembering a language which I took over five years trying to learn, merely for your entertainment. I'm a sweetheart, I know! So this works just like the Spanish one; I'll write original lines from  songs, translate it to French using my knowledge and then we use the incredible Google Translate to translate it back and see what happens. This is going to be horrendously embarrassing if my French is way 'out of the galaxy' off =S, but let's not delay this suffering any longer. 

1. Original Line:  Oh what you think about that? Now you know how I feel. Say you can handle my love; Are you for real?
    My French: Oh, c'est quoi tu pense ce ca? Maintenant te sais comment je touche. Dit que tu peux controle mon amour; c'est tu es vrai?
    Google Translate: Oh, what is it you think that? Now you know how I touch. Says you can control my love; is true you are?

2. Original Line:  With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride. You're Toxic, I'm slipping under.
     My French: Avec le gout de ta bouche je suis sur une journee. Tu es Toxique, je suis tombe de bas. 
     Google Translate: With the taste of your lips I'm on a day. You're toxic, I'm falling low.

3. Original Line: When I look into your eyes, it's like watching the night sky or a beautiful sunrise.
     My French: Quand je regarde tes yeux, c'est comme regardent la ciel soir or une tres belle soleil levee.
      Google Translate: When I look at your eyes, it's like watching the night sky or a very nice sun levee.

4. Original Line: Told myself that you were right for me, but felt so lonely in your company.
    My French: Je dit a moi que tu es correctement pour moi, mais c'est tes sole dans ta presence.
    Google Translate: I told me that you are fine for me, but it is your sole in your presence.

5. Original Line: I trade my soul for a Wish, pennies and dimes for a kiss... I wasn't looking for this, but now you're in my way.
    My French: J'ai donne mon soul pour un echantement, l'argent pour une bec... Je ne regandent pas pour ca, mais maintenant tu es en ma route.
     Google Translate: I give my soul for Enchant, money for a nose ... I do not look for that, but now you're in my way.

6. Original Line: You want her but she's so mean. You'll never let her go, why don't you let her go?
    My French: Tu veux elle mais elle es tres fache. Tu ne pas prend pas elle, pourquoi tu ne prend pas?
     Google Translate: You want it but are very angry. You do not not take it, why you do not take?

Oh my word! I hope my French teachers don't see this! hides face*

Pinned Image

Saturday, August 25, 2012

Life's Many Laws

        In case you all didn't know, I'm 19; as was expressed in my toting post, and I had found a poem I wrote when I was only 15. I found this poem a year now, and when I read it a year ago, I thought it was bloody brilliant how I got the words to rhyme and make sense. Especially since this was actually written as homework for English class, and no one really puts effort into homework as it's always rushed, but I felt all special as my teacher commented, 'I believe you have the heart of a poet!',.... because who wouldn't? Anyway, being amazed at the skill I had back then I decided that one day I would type it up for you all to read...... and while typing, it was really freaky how much this poem applied to my life right now! It's as if my younger self knew what I would be facing now, and there couldn't have been a more perfect timing for me to put this up for you. So I hope you like it, and maybe if you're in a predicament like mine, it'll offer words of motivation =)

Life's Many Laws.©

Achieve excellence,
Go forward!
Don't hold on to the past,
Cherish the memories that last.

Put your best foot forward.
Smile with no regrets!
Enjoy life by all means,
Pursue your dreams.

Take chances!
Make your own rules!
It's your choice,
Hear only your voice.

Be yourself!
Hold nothing to heart!
Make life your own vision,
It's really your decision.

Laugh each day,
With the exception of tears.
Live a reality!
Take a step into your destiny.

Be inspired!
Snatch your victory.
Never swim in defeat,
It's not the end you want to meet.

Work hard,
Empower your heart.
Life's not a race,
Set your own pace.

People change and things go wrong,
Doesn't mean all is gone.
It's your life!
And life goes on.

- by Hindi Bindi.

Pinned Image

Friday, August 24, 2012

Men vs. Handbags

         Wow, I've been so busy lately, that I haven't had time to just sit down and think and blog =(  I'm working on quality blogs, so don't worry. I have two that I'm currently trying to piece together, but I don't want you all to think that I've completely stopped blogging, since I haven't posted anything in a while. So my friend sent the following to me a while now, and as I was cleaning out my inbox I just had to read it again.              
          When we were younger, my friend, Bobochuks, and I had some definite cool issues. We were the dorks who wanted to be cool and therefore we made great attempts. We've done some pretty ridiculous things together, and one of the sanest was trying to start up our own chain mail. 
We always received chain mail and we decided to make our own.... several times actually..... So we made this one, when we were probably only 13, comparing guys to women's handbags, and I must say we did a pretty good job. How did we think of all this? I have no idea, but it's quite ingenious although we sound like real players, but I figured I should share our wits with you. The following is our chain mail, feel free to share this link with all your friends and make our 13 year old dreams come true =)

          Ever wonder what's the difference between having a new handbag and having a new guy? Well if you haven't found any differences don't beat yourself up, because they aren't that different. And lucky you! A couple rational minds have put together some of the top reasons to why having a new guy is just like having a new handbag.Here we go....

Reason#1. Everybody has one.

Reason#2. Whenever you get a new one, you always see something better out there.

Reason#3. There's so many, that it's sometimes hard to choose.

Reason#4. In some cases, you just can't have only one.

Reason#5. They don't retain alot of things.     
Reason#6. The really good ones are always taken before you get them.

Reason#7. When you actually get a chance to use it, it shows all its faults.

Reason#8. You need a different one for every occasion {you wouldn't use the one you used to the football game, to a formal event?!}

Reason#9. You go everywhere with them.

Reason#10. Once they start looking the slightest bit worn out or old you toss 'em out the door!

Reason#11. You wish you had somebody else's.

Reason#12. Sometimes you feel like you're wasting time/money.

Reason#13. Becareful! Somebody might just snatch it from you.

Reason#14. The first ones are most memorable.

Reason#15. Exterior counts.

Reason#16. They have faults.

Reason#17. Each one has a different personality.

Reason#18. Sometimes you forget about them.

Reason#19. You envy a girlfriend's.

Reason#20. You shouldn't spend much time worrying about either because in the end there are more important things.

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Story of a Girl

     I was really bored today, so I decided to try and write this pointless short story, which is really pointless but I just felt like being really descriptive today. And well everyone doesn't have a name quarter because I couldn't decide what name to use and three quarter because I wanted the characters to be anybody the reader imagines. So yea... they have no names and no age for that reason. 

        This is the story of a girl who did not believe in fairytales. She could watch the dark night sky above her and see the stars fall, but she could never make a wish because she knew it was pointless.  She would blow out her birthday candles with a clear mind because she knew it was only a flickering flame. She would cry in her dreams because she knew that they could never come true, but she could find solace in a book, where the pains of her world were drowned and forgotten.
       She could never get over her imperfections, her small eyes, big nose, broad mouth, dark skin, big ears, short neck, wide shoulders, acne scarred face and stumpy body. How could God make a monster of her? She had nothing in this world; she was always over looked because of her flawed face. She was never paid attention to for her lack of talent; she couldn’t even peel a potato properly if that could be considered a talent. She had no money, her family was average, and when you can’t compete in an economically thriving society where you can’t afford to sport the latest fad every week, then its best you remain invisible. She wasn’t a scholar, but she tried. She tried hard. If there was one thing she worked towards and wanted most was to become rich, just so she could afford to look pretty for once. Every trip to the mall’s wishing well, she would throw a penny and wish that tomorrow she could be as pretty as the last person she saw on TV.  She thought that the wishing well gods weren’t appeased by her penny, for looking pretty can be quite costly, so she threw dollars into the well, but nothing happened; if anything she’d say she got uglier. She’d say she’s gotten a little bit smarter, for now she knows wishes don’t come true and that she shouldn't waste her time. But every once in a while, a blue flame of hope flickers in her heart and dances and sends thrills to her mind; the what if’s. What if wishes do come true? What if I’ve just been saying it wrong? What if it just wasn’t my time? What if today is my day? But like any smart girl, she’d extinguish that flame with the tears of knowing for sure that wishes don’t come true.
        She never bothered to talk to a boy before because what boy wants to talk to a hideous beast? Boys willingly spoke to the other girls… but not to her simply because she was too ugly for their liking. But when the world saw her, they saw a timid girl who was shy and meek.  They saw the embodiment of innocence and a mind full of wonder, they saw a soft starry gaze and a sweet smile that would cross her rose pink lips when words failed to work, they saw beautiful ebony tresses that framed her face like a picture, they saw a small tanned girl that was always dressed decently, they saw hormones teasing her as it did everybody. They tried to talk, they tried to make her see they were there but to see you must look, sadly her head was always in a book.
         Many years have passed her and every day is the same, except today. Today was different. As she sat on the lush grass away from the large crowds, under an enormous shady tree, enjoying the company of her latest book and her home made lunch she heard a voice, calling "hey". She ignored it because these formalities were never directed to her. It called again and she ignored once more.  A hand upon her shoulder shook her from her book; she slowly turned her gaze to meet their compliance. Their bright eyes met hers, and she gave that flawless smile when she saw one cross his thin dry lips. His chiseled face only a short distance from hers, his un-gelled hair falling on his face as the wind blew gently. She could feel the warmth of his breath upon her, she could feel his strong grip still on her shoulder as if promising he would never let go and yet she was still lost in his eyes, staring at his soul. She hadn't a clue what overcame her face muscles as she couldn’t stop smiling, she suddenly felt this warm tingling sensation across her face in the cool air and it wasn’t his breath; for it crossed and stayed on the apples of her cheeks, it felt so warm as if a fire was starting there. She placed the cool palms of her hands upon her cheeks to soothe her face from turning to ashes. It was hot, burning hot. What if she was catching the cold? What if she’d just been outside too long? Or what if this is what she read about? What if all the books weren’t completely fiction? What if they were based on real life? What if what she read was right? What if she was experiencing this sensation she’d long since deemed silly? What if she was in love?
                       “Hello,” a small soft, shaky voice escaped her lips.
                       “Sorry to bother you… but I’m new here.  And I really have no idea where to go or what do to. This may be too much to ask but I was wondering if I can have lunch with you? Perhaps you can walk me to my next class? Please?” he ended with a hopeful smirk and raised eyebrows awaiting confirmation. His eyes were undoubtedly saying that he had nowhere else to go.
                       “That wouldn’t be a problem,” she managed, smiling and he giddily seated himself.  They sat and ate and they genuinely laughed. She never had lunch with anyone since high school, especially not a guy. She could feel herself letting go of boundaries as this stranger spoke so charismatically about himself. He was so wonderful; she definitely tried to impress him using what little she learned about these things in books. This was new to her, she was a stranger in these parts and now she had found someone like herself. It was safe to say they were friends, but with each passing day she craved that they could be much more. Crave not wish.  Everything about him was perfect; it was a miracle really that he would even talk to her.  His talk, his walk his everything could leave you speechless.
       Time passes like time always does, leaving us unaware of how much time we have left, leaving us with hope that there will be a tomorrow; a tomorrow to execute all that we have put off from today. That hope lights a small blue flame in a girl’s heart; what if she told him how she felt? She strolled passed the stores with her bags in hand, her mind flooded with ‘what if’s’ and as she turned the bend she caught sight of the wishing well.  It’s sparkling blue tiles glistening under the crystal waters which reflected the ambient lighting. It was beckoning to her. Mindlessly she reach into her pocket and pulled out a quarter, each stride taking her closer to the wishing well and she froze as the tip of her shoe rubbed against the cold tiles. Staring at her solemn reflection she asked herself what she was doing. She knew she couldn’t be wishing for anything, because smart girls don’t wish for impossible things just because they are impossible. Wishes don’t come true, she wouldn’t waste her time wishing that he could love her the way she loved him. She would never do that is what she told herself, yet as she released the silver coin through her stout finger,s she wished for that very same thing. Hastily she walked away from actions, her eyes precariously seeking an exit. Just before she found the red and white sign emblazoned with the words she’d been searching for, she saw him. There he was in a cute little jewelry store right beside the exit. It was very small, he was half standing out and half standing in, she tried hard to turn away and not be noticed for the shame of what she just did consumed her entirely. Of all the things she had ever wished for, altering someone else’s feelings for her was the most embarrassing. It’s like asking the sun to rise only for her, like asking a flower to bloom only for her, its selfish and rude. The flower may feel free to bloom for whoever it wishes, who was she to demand that it bloom for her? And well the sun, the sun rises for everyone; it’s not selfish, unlike her. She pulled the hood of her grey sweater up over her head, to half aid in her disguise.
                         “No, it’s for a very good friend; she’s not my girlfriend, well at least not as yet anyway,” he chuckled boyishly to the jeweller. A smile danced across her face. As she ran towards the exit, she managed to hear him talking about his very good friend. In fact she believed he was buying a gift for his very good friend as well. In the books, when the boy buys jewelry for a girl it only ever means one thing.
       They weren’t in the same classes but they would always meet in their lunch spot, their spot. A few times now, she ate alone, but that was normal and he was busy. She walked towards their spot with a giddy smile on her face hoping he would join her today for lunch, her hair clipped neatly up, not in its usual untidy bun and she was wearing the top she bought yesterday.  She couldn’t look any cuter if she said so herself. Her walk was more of a merry skip and she heard his voice calling out to her. What if she was just so in love she was day dreaming? She looked around to clear the voice from her head, and saw his hands frantically waving above his head, calling her name two, three times. He was at a table and there were five other people with him and one empty seat which he was saving for her. She moved over shyly, hardly believing that this was happening. She wasn’t too comfortable with new people, but the way they all greeted her made her feel relaxed amongst them. They were actually really nice people, why hadn’t she met them before if they were so nice? Perhaps because they were all in his classes and not hers or perhaps because they were all so beautiful that it was intimidating. It really surprised her that there she was, sitting at a table with a group of friends, dawned in nice clothing and sitting across from him. It was like nothing she could ever imagine for herself since she was so ugly. It was as if things worked out it the end, maybe she hadn’t been wishing for the right thing all along? Amidst the talking and laughing and exchanging of numbers, time slowed. Time slowed as she saw him reach into his pocket pulling out a small baby blue box, time slowed as she saw him remove the cover and set it on the table beside his sandwich. Time slowed as he lifted the stunning silver necklace from its black velvety bed, dangling it in front of her. Time slowed as he unclasped the necklace, with its pearl pendant sparkling in the sunlight and time slowed as she opened her mouth to thank him? To kiss him? To praise him? To tell him; oh no he shouldn’t have? As she opened her mouth, no words came out, her eyes wide set with horror as the slender peachy girl beside him, pulled her long strawberry blonde hair to one side lifting it off her neck as he clasped the necklace, smiling handsomely.
         She closed her mouth immediately and smiled as if she hadn’t seen a thing, as they thought her to do in the books. She pinched herself hard for making a stupid wish and for believing it would come through, for wasting her time. But she didn’t let it bother her; it didn't affect her at all, not even for one moment.  After all she never believed in this, she never believed in fairytales.

Pinned Image

Thursday, August 2, 2012

El Dia De Los Muertos

            I haven't done any looks since forever, so I manned up and did one myself! A shortage of models and rejection by my dogs have forced me to embrace my face as a canvas once more.  I took this opportunity to dabble in the cultural festival of El Dia de los Muertos, celebrated annually in Mexico. El Dia de los Muertos is quite similar to what we know as All Saints Day. Originating before the Spanish conquest, it is a mixture of Indigenous and Catholic traditions and it's activities mainly include gathering at cemeteries for the cleaning and decorating of grave sites and socializing amidst lost loved ones.  Although the skeleton is seen as frightening, especially with Halloween, it takes on a very different meaning for El Dia de los Muertos; it represents the dead playfully mimicking the living and is not ghastly what so ever. Hence it is befitting to dress like skeletons, and painting your face to resemble that of a skull is not just celebrating the continuing life of the dead but it should also enable the wearer to overcome the fear of death itself. The mixing of the skulls and flowers for face painting symbolises life and love, with the skull representing death and the flowers representing beauty. Surely this ties back with Mexico's indigenous ancestors who believed that there was life after death and that for sure was more wonderful.
          With this said, my inspiration was a contemporary skull as there is an inversion of the black and white. There are no flowers in this simply because my face isn't big enough lolz. This was done with paint and kajol, and editing was obviously done. I haven't editted pictures in a few months so I'm a bit out of it, so forgive my mess ups please. I was so excited to do this that I really didn't think about practising, and fixing it didn't seem like a likely option =S

Thursday, July 26, 2012

Hasta La Vista 18

       I can’t believe it! Today’s my last day of being 18 and it breaks my heart! When I was a child, I was fascinated with the age 18. If I could have chosen to remain one age forever, it would undoubtedly be 18. There was something about it that awed me, the idea of still being a teenager, yet being an adult at the same time was just mind blowing. But now that I’m a few hours away from being 19, I must say that being 18 hasn’t been so great because I haven’t made the best of it. I’ve really done nothing while I was 18 to be so proud of being 18 and that depresses me greatly.
Pinned Image
         I have no great stories of my 18th year to tell my future generation. A story as simple as my first love won’t even exist. I’d have to shift words around to make myself seem awesome, but then again what would history be if we never did that? I’d have to begin; well 22 hours ago, when I was 18, I broke the norm of society! It was customary that at the age of 13, a girl should shamelessly think she had fallen in love with some boy who would only later break her heart. And by 16 years of age, said same girl should have met another lad, with whom she would have fallen in love with completely, regardless of his feelings for her and wait a maximum of 4 to 5 years, to see if this is the person that was truly meant for her. However, me being the daring, witty and beautiful adventurous rebel that I am, I refused to succumb to the foe called love, so far for 18 years of my life, I avoided the treacherous ailments that had befallen many and led them to their demise. I was strong and determined, and I ventured with the few that were as worthy as me, to escape the illusively warm grip of love’s icy claws. Yes, Yes… that sounds about accurate, don’t you think? 
Pinned Image
         Yesterday I watched Zefferelli’s 'Romeo and Juliet' and it really made me think about my nonexistent love life. It was quite good, seemed like the real deal with the setting and costuming, and I can’t seem to get over how Leonard Whiting crazily looks like Zac Efron.  Two young souls madly and helplessly in love with each other, so much that they can’t live without the other. I tried to think of how my seemingly impossible love story would unravel, but even that was difficult. Love is something I haven’t yet stumbled upon, I’ve done such a great job at avoiding it since I’m an expert at pushing people away. The only thing I have that can come close to a good love story, are my very embarrassing moments. And it was then that I realized that that’s all I’ll probably ever have, my life is one big embarrassing showdown. Everything in my life competes with each other to see which can embarrass me more.
            Let’s take a look at my lack of good timing. I remember about 4 years ago I was talking to an old friend on msn. You see, I had now come back to Trinidad on April 1st and I was picking up wireless from my cousin’s neighbours at two in the morning. So obviously my friend had to prank me because it was April fool’s, but I’m usually the pranker not the prankee.  So, for some time then I had been asking him questions on guy-behaviours because I wanted to write a book [I only reached chapter 3 with that- Failure!] and I wanted it to be realistic, I wanted guys to be able to relate as well as girls. But because of this, they thought I was seeking relationship advice, which seemed really silly to me at that time. So I was like, 'ok yea I’ll play on his suspicions and tell him that I have a boyfriend, yea that’ll be a good April fool’s because they’ll surely believe it but it won’t be true. Yes! Awesome idea!' So I proceeded with my supposedly awesome plan, and I really can’t remember what their reaction was, but I know that before I could tell them April fool’s the internet connection dropped!!! I got cut off from the conversation and I tried for a whole half an hour to get back on but I couldn’t. So I never got to tell them it was a April Fool’s and I never  bothered to clear it up in later conversations as I hoped they, unlike me, would have forgotten about it.  Basically in the end, not only am I the loser to have never been in a relationship, but I the biggest loser who attempted to lie about it, giving myself a fake boyfriend with a name, which is the saddest part.
           But I guess since I’m almost 19, I should review something shitty that happened while I was 18. Let's take a look at my lack of life skills. Hmm... I have just the story, but I’ll have to make it quite vague.  Okay, so most people would think me a bitch because I’m selective of whom I talk to. I’m sorry, but when I meet someone for the first time, within 5 minutes I decide whether you’re worth my time or not based on your interaction with me and those around me. Therefore if we're friends, then I think you're pretty cool and worth my time, so congratulations you lucky fools =). I try to stay clear of jerks and bacchanalists and I don’t run down people to talk to them. If you talk to me, cool! We’ll have a conversation [However awkward that may turn out], but don’t hold your breath waiting for me to approach you or else you will die because I’m really shy when it comes to meeting people =S. So now that you know so much about me, I can proceed with this embarrassing experience. So I met this guy, and my blood didn’t take him at all, based on first impressions. However every time we’re in the same vicinity, he would come and say 'hi', so I began to think that maybe I'm judging him too quickly, that I should try and be nice to them because they just want to be friends. Then an incident happened, where I was made to realize that this person who I forced myself to believe was nice, was actually using me. And well I hate users! I’ve been used conveniently many times in my short life, perhaps more times than I was embarrassed =S, therefore I was really pissed that I let myself get used again…. So just like that I stopped talking to that person completely. I should have listened to my instincts the very first time and leave it like that, but we all know how evil can be deceiving =P  So yea, some people may think I handled this immaturely but I just really wanted to stop talking to this person and forget about how stupid I had been. So some time later, that person ended up falling for and dating someone who was already in a relationship. This someone happened to know me well and decided that for love’s sake, they should tell their lover all that they know about me. Which is very disturbing, because I really don’t like people knowing my background and whatever, yes I tell you all about my life on this blog, but there are private things about my life that I wouldn’t want the world to know. However this someone happens to think very highly of their self and for quite some time they believed I was ugly and jealous of them, I was far from jealous of this person by the way. And well, remember how I mentioned this someone was cheating, and I really don’t stand for that bullshit, so I tried to put an end to it, along with my awesome friends. In conclusion; we stopped the blasphemy, made some new enemies and apparently rumour has it that I’m in love with this person, and that’s why I’m so stuck up… because apparently they broke my heart. I never even knew I had these feelings lolz and the worst part is that I really never had any feelings for this person whatsoever, and they really weren’t my type so those type of feelings would have never even developed. The fact that I didn’t like this person, but everyone thought I loved them totally pissed me off, and seeing that they talk to people and I don’t, it really gave them grounds to light this fire. So now, I’m also the asshole that was in love with this person who believed they were a gentleman, and I got my heartbroken by him and my best friend…. And I didn’t even care if they were baby-making; I just wanted her to be fair to the other guy in this whole thing. I guess it’s true what they say; doing the right thing is very VERY hard.
       So yes, in my 18th year of life I proved to be really pathetic in the field of love and attraction and shit like that... and well that's not a story I really want to tell the future but what's a girl to do? So hopefully, in my 19th year, if I steer clear of anything of the sort, my name won’t get muddled and I won’t add to the lump of sadman-ness that is already me. I'll just stick to my original story in the intro and well I was great at avoiding it for 18 years, what's another year to add??To those turning 19 this year, enjoy your last teenage year and make the best of it like I plan to do. Things don't last forever, so really make the best of every opportunity.
Pinned Image

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Top 10 Ugly People Pros

           Wow! So I think I need to be slapped, because I haven't made a post since last month! My apologies! I've just lost my zeal to write and I felt that all my previous ideas weren't good enough for you folks. But then I decide; "you know what, you all need to love me regardless, we're in this together and there will be good posts and bad posts in our way, but I'd like to believe that our love is strong enough to overcome these barriers". Ok, Ok so I'm actually going to make my first post for the month of July, which is quite sad because July is my favorite month! Not just because this was the month I was born in, but it's awesome... like hello? no school!! Boo-yah! So the idea for this post came to me while I was studying for CAPE, and well I'm now acting on this instinct.
            Ugly people are people too despite however ugly they may be, and like all people they too have problems! And well, being ugly actually presents a shit load of problems, and I don't think that my life is long enough to permit me to tell you all of them.But being ugly isn't so bad, with every 3 disadvantages comes 1 great advantage. Therefore there are a few unexpected perks to this ugly thing. So as an honorary ugly person who has had the privilege to experience these few joys of life, compared to the many problems encountered on a nearly daily basis, I present to you the top 10 ugly people pros in no conventional order.

Top 10 Ugly People Pros:-

UPP #1 - Power of Invisibility
        Everyone on this earth wants superpowers, whether they're open about it or not. Boys watch Superman and wish they had his super strength, or more of his X-ray vision. As a little girl I would watch Charmed and wish I was Piper, but obviously we can't be these fictional characters, the closest thing us Ugly people can come to is Invisible Woman/Man. Being Ugly means that no one really wants to look at you, they don't check you out continuously wherever you go and you have no stalkers unlike Good Looking people, therefore you can enter and exit scenes unnoticed [Talk about super criminal! and amazing stalker!]. You can attend a party, if you ever get invited, and no one would ever even know you were there.... you could say you're practically invisible. And that makes us more super than everyone else; we can be somewhere and not be there at the same time.

UPP #2 - Genuine Relationships
        Well one thing's for sure, all you're friendships are to be treasured. Being ugly, is like friend- having and dating repellent! These social relationships are really hard to come by, since everyone's afraid to talk to one because of your face. But if you're Ugly and you're lucky enough to actually have friends, keep those bastards close to your heart and love them dearly, because they really like you for who you are on the inside. For example, if you're like me and you're dead ass ugly, broke and dumb, then you know you're friends can't be using you to get popular and they're definitely not trying to hook up with you, they aren't using you to get nice things from you because you can't even afford nice things for yourself, and well you really don't know how the hell to do your own homework so they're definitely not going to ask you to do theirs. I'm sure right now you're wondering.. 'why are my friends even my friends if I have nothing to offer?'... I really don't know why they're our friends, they must think we're beautiful on the inside, and you can't throw that away. Sniff*

UPP #3 - Rich Bastard
        Because you're Ugly, you'll never get asked out on a date. If you're never asked out on a date, then you don't need to go and buy nice clothes to impress that person on the date. Because you now have no one to impress, and you really can't impress yourself because you already know what you look like, then you don't need to buy make up or hair care products. And well you'll never have to spend money on that person, buying Valentine's and Birthday gifts etc. Since none of this ever happened, there'll obviously be no wedding happening and you know what this means besides the fact that you're forever alone?? It means you're stinking rich! Think of all that money you saved for yourself just because you're too ugly to get a date. Now you can buy a sick ass car and drive around and make people wish they dated you. Have fun planning you're revenge on the world my forever alone forever rich friends. P.S. You can even be the next Batman! Bet those ladies want you now!

UPP #4 - Fear Not!
        I know that sexual offences are a serious dilemma that we are faced with in this society. Rape is not a joke! The word itself makes me cringe and want to cry. But in this world, as teenagers and young adults, rape can seem insignificant and unlikely to us when compared to our immediate problems like; what to wear tomorrow, or if that certain someone will notice you, or whether or not you'll ace that exam next week. Whatever your story, you have too much going on in your mind to be bothered my what's going on in the world, but Ugly people, you have less to fear, you have one less care in this world. You needn't worry about these tragedies, it's all good until someone's visually impaired.

UPP #5 - No Photo Hate.
        Normally, when people take pictures and someone looks retarded and everyone else looks good, they scold that person for ruining their pictures and making them take another one which might not look as good as the first. People also get furious at photobombers for ruining a perfectly good meaningful picture. But when you're butt Ugly, you look so retarded all the time that when you take pictures and ruin them for everyone else, nobody cares really because they're used to seeing you look like that, so you don't get yelled at by your pretty friends. And if you accidentally or purposefully photobomb a picture nobody gets on your case because they think you're acutally supposed to be there. Three cheers for photo-bombing!

UPP #6 - Non-punishable.
        One of the biggest punishments parents force upon their children is grounding them. Which is basically banning them from social activities such as hanging out with friends and going anywhere that isn't home and by grandma's. But when you're Ugly, you're never invited to parties, unless it's your own and only if you're lucky, then you'll have friends to hang out with... so how can your parents take away the social life you've never had?? They can't! And that's what makes you unpunishable! I can tell you from experience that when you get into trouble, your parents will be there fumbling for a punishment and then they'll just end with... you're in trouble! I'll tell you from mine own experience how unpunishable you are... To punish someone you need to make them suffer, so at first your parents will tell you that you can't hang out with your friends. But how often do you do that anyway? Then they'll tell you no internet. Ok yes that hurts, but face it you have no friends to talk to on-line either, not even on Omegle lolz. But I just type up more blog posts to post up when I get back internet and that is fun for me, so still no punishing. They may ban the computer all together. They may also ban you from your phone, but let's face it; who really calls you? Who texts you? your mom? Well now she's at a lost. So what's left to do? Read an awesome bookwhich is what ugly people do best! [ because good looking people have too busy a life to read]. Reading is fun! If they ban you from reading [which is something that is unlikely to happen], you can just sleep, and who doesn't like to sleep?  Ughhh.. just don't push it so that you're stuck with a year's worth of chores because that sucks, but then again we have no life and that's extra day dreaming time; we can just pretend that we're Cinderella cleaning the house, waiting for Prince Charming [Ughh.. Guys... I don't know who you are, but yea you're waiting for your princess to rescue you too] So who are they really punishing? Not the Ugly people, I can tell you that, because if your parents keep punishing you like this then they'll be raising a socially awkward child. Who wants to take one of those to  large social gatherings and family reunions?

UPP #7 - People aren't Jealous of you.
        Ok so when people are in a relationship, they're really concerned about the other guys and gals their partner hangs out with. The best way for me to describe this one is through a story, so let's go... If  Jill/Jack started dating Steve/Eve who happened to have other friends way before this relationship started, and one of them happened to be really good looking, Foxy Tina/Tom, Jill/ Jack would be really paranoid. Everytime Steve/Eve said they were hanging out with Foxy Tina/ Tom after school, Jill/Jack would get all worked up thinking about what they would be doing. They'd be paranoid and haunted by the thought that they were being cheated on with this good looking person who has so much history with their partner. Jill/Jack would then proceed to make a big scene, to force Steve/Eve to choose between them or Foxy Tina/Tom, and well they'd have to ruin a great friendship for the sake of 'love'. But if Steve/Eve were best friends with Ugly Lucy/Luke, then Jill/Jack wouldn't worry at all, in fact they would be happy to know that Steve/Eve were hanging out with them, because they know that Ugly Lucy/Luke is way below their partner's taste level, and that Steve/Eve would never cheat on them if present with Ugly Lucy/Luke. So in short, Ugly people get to keep their best friends of opposite gender when they start dating. Yay for friendship!!!

UPP #8 - Unforgettable Face.
        When you're Ugly, you have a really messed up face, one that haunts people's memory and they could never forget about you no matter how hard they try. But this is how people get famous, so congratulations! Plus, maybe one day you'll creep from their mind into their heart, because let's face it, if you're on their mind constantly, then they might fall in love with you since you're all they can think about. So face it, if you're in a crowd of pretty people, you're going to stand out like... a bowling ball in a haystack, and isn't that what first impressions are all about?? Making an impact? Well believe you me, you're ugliness has made such an impact on that person's mind, it has left a crater!Think about the endless job opportunities! When you go for an interview, you'll be all they can remember! You my Ugly friend, are getting a call back despite your shitty resume, all thanks to your shitty face. Three cheers for Ugliness!  So don't worry! Later in the night, that hottie you've been eyeing won't remember any of the good looking people they've met that night, only your ugly unforgettable face. Sigh* Now this is romance! Top that Shakespeare! lolz.

UPP #9 - Beauty Fades but Ugly Stains.
        So yes, we're stained with the Ugly! We needn't worry about teenage pregnancy, and sadly you'll never get to star in 16 and Pregnant, because your face is your own form of birth control...and I guess that Would bring us back to #3, where you'll save money not having to buy condoms etc. Most importantly, since we're stained with Ugly, it is unlikely that we'll get prettier as time goes by, and it's really impossible for us to get any uglier, but soon enough we'll get used to it. If we're lucky to find someone to marry, they'll love us for all our flaws and if we get uglier, then it really has no impact on them because we were ugly when this whole relationship started, so they'll accept our hideous changes pretty quickly. For example; if you're fat now and that person loves you, I'm sure they're not gonna mind if you gain weight in the future. [Being fat doesn't mean you're Ugly, but in today's society full of ass-holes, the two can be thought of as synonyms =( ] For my ladies out there, if you have a child and you put on weight, you know your husband won't cheat on you with skinnier girls because he always liked your plus size. Also, since you're ugly you know that they love you for how you are on the inside, as metioned in #2, and no amount of increasing ugly can change that. However if you're good looking, your partner is only interested in your looks, I mean that's what first attracted them to you in the first place, especially if you're not so nice on the inside, and well beauty eventually fades. Yes you can be gorgeous in your younger years, but as you age, things begin to fall apart, unless you're rich and can afford surgery. Your partner is most likely shallow since they married you for your looks and when your looks start to go, they'll start looking for somethign better. But if you're ugly from the start, you know that this will last forever.

UPP #10 - Opposites Attract.
        The Laws of Attraction state that opposites attract and likes repel. Therefore by this statement alone, we see that two Ugly people could never be together, and two Good looking people can never be togther either. In a relationship, one has to be however slightly uglier than the other, whilst the other is however slightly more appealing than the other. So what does this mean? It basically means that if you're butt ass Ugly then you're most likely to be paired with someone who's drop dead ass Gorgeous! So my Ugly friends, we've come out pretty good in this whole relationship scenario =D. However, the Good looking people have the shorter end of the stick, because they're doomed to end up with us Ugly folks. But hey atleast we get to rub it in people faces, how an ugly thing like us ended up with someone so good looking and plus there'll be a glint of hope for our offsprings.

         And there you have it people, the Top 10 reasons why being Ugly is so great! Yes, although it may seem like a disability at first sight, there's so much more joys to be Ugly, than Good Looking people could ever imagine.  So let's toast to these advantages and remember the great words of one yellow hero, and let us all be Ugly and Proud.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Skin Colour Complex

              Wow, it has been a long time since I've blogged, mainly due to exams. And I apologize for that, but now that they're almost over and I just have two more papers to do I'm feeling quite free. Well for me, during exams is when I have all my profound realizations and thoughts. I'm not sure if it's me deliberately trying to limit my mind to certain perimeters that it eventually breaks loose and starts thinking of the most useless, irrelevant crap, or because I just don't want to study. Either way, I have all these thoughts, but I have to lock them up till exams are over and I can rant to you all until =D Well this post is on one of those random thoughts: Skin Color!
Pinned Image
             You wouldn't believe the impact that skin color can have on a person's life. And yes, we live in the 21st century ; interracial marriages are the flick and people actually want to be tanned these days! In this modern society being fair skinned isn't the only trait of beauty, whether you're pale as snow, or black as ebony; you're beautiful. But darlings, that mentality is far from realized in Trinidad!
             Living in Trinidad and being of brown skin, I can assure you that having dark skin makes you feel nothing more than an ugly duckling. Yes, despite this skin color revolution that seems to occur globally, our small Trinidad is still blind sighted to it. And yes there are those who have come to accept their beautiful skin after some heartaches, and those who have loved themselves all along, but trust me when I say there is a countless many out there who hate being 'dark' and who go to far ends just to have that fair radiant skin of a Bollywood actress. I'm serious, when I say people will try all kinds of shit to lighten their complexion, we're talking face creams; Vicco tumeric creams, Ashe skin whitening, Emammi Naturally Fair, Fair and Beautiful [This name pisses me off, because it just suggests that you need to be fair to be beautiful] and home made pastes of saffron and tumeric and someone will even take the chemical route of bleaching their skin, despite the harmful consequences that follow. Some people wax themselves thoroughly to appear fairer, as you know hair, especially black hair, can make you look darker than your skin actually is. Yes homedogs, I know the works because I myself wanted to be fairer once upon a time, but now I've come to accept my skin color and who I am. And yes I use a lot of products on my face, because I'm not condemning beauty products, but mainly to brighten my complexion. And there's a big difference people ought to know about brightening and lightening. Lightening your complexion is basically bleaching and what not to become fairer, and approach white on the color scale. [I'm trying to not go all technical in this, so please excuse the repeating of words etc. lolz] whereas brightening is adding a glow to your already established skin tone, and that makes all the difference because skin is only bright and glowing if it's healthy and properly maintained.... and well that my friend is beautiful skin! Healthy skin is in, no matter the color.
Pinned Image
This just shows the difference, when her complexion is brightened.

               But we wouldn't find the need to go to such extents if such a large importance wasn't place on skin color. In Trinidad, I feel like people judge you as soon as they see you, just based on your skin color. If people see a fair Indian they automatically associate that person with traits such as beauty, intelligence, wealth and class, where the opposite would apply if they saw a dark Indian,where they would associate them with being ugly or not as pretty, not that smart, coolie, poor etc. Where do we get off on judging people not only by physical appearance, but by just one physical trait?! And yes this mainly applies to Indo-Caribbeans, because I feel that they have the biggest issue with skin color. I believe that this can be associated with two aspects. One is that in India the highest caste would be people of fair skin, whilst the lowest caste would be of dark skin [ I'm not too keen on all the details, because I don't want this to be longer than it might be lolz, but Google, if you want more accuracy], therefore light skin would be admired, held in great esteem and respected etc. The other point includes colonisation and indentureship, where the Caucasian man was in charge, and therefore being white once again played a role in people being at the height of the societal strata. But people, you need to wake up and realize that that was the past and today is a new day! And well basically, assholes you need to stop putting so much emphasis on skin color or else I will slap yuh upside yuh flickin' big ass head! =D People may think that I'm just saying this because I am dark, but if that was the case I would consider fair people to be ugly, but no I think everyone's beautiful regardless [tis very true, you just need to open your eyes and see it]. I mean some people don't know how to wear the right colors for their skin tone... but that's a next post.
                What irks me the most is that Trini people [mainly Indos] place a lot of emphasis on marrying/dating someone fair skinned.... because they are held in esteem for no valid reason, just their skin color. Both guys and girls do this like there's no tomorrow! If you're fair skin then you're considered the sexiest shit to ever walk this island, and well if you're Caucasian then you're sexier than the sexiest shit. And I just get really sick in my stomach when people actually say that they want a white man or woman. Like honey, yes there's nothing wrong with white people, but you have to realise that white people are people too.Just like Trinidadians, they are bad white people, there are good white people, are there are those in between. Just because their skin is white, it doesn't mean that they're better than any black or brown person you've ever met, the only difference is that their skin is white.... and white is just a color [or the absence of color :O?! lolz ] You must realize that white people can hurt you just the same as a Trini person, or even worst than you've ever hurt before. You need to get over your dumbass self and realize that there is so much more to a person that just the color of their skin. And if you're one of those people who pray every night to meet a white man/woman and you only date fair people because you're that 'awesome', seriously eff you, because you have no decency in you. At the end of the day the people who want a white woman/man and place so much importance on it, are black or brown, and basically you need this person to feel better about your dumbass insecure self, because you feel like effing shit being the color that you are and you need this white person to make you look better and feel better about your own self. Because by yourself you're just brown! [ and we all know the adjectives that are associated with that] but with a white person at your side, you think you appear better. But no, you're just an asshole, using that decent man/woman who deserves much better than you! plus if you're that insecure about yourself, you shouldn't even be looking for a relationship, cause that just isn't going to work.And Trinis, let me get this straight ok, when you go around saying that you don't like Trini people and you don't want to end up with a Trini guy/gal, how you want a white person, you sound like a friggin dumbass! Because you know what?? YOU'RE A TRINI TOO!!!! [and no effing amount of vacations to America is ever going to change that!!!] So basically if you don't want to date a Trini, then who the eff is going to date you?
Pinned Image

Thank for your time, feel free to leave hate comments or what ever, but this shit is true. And for those of you who have heard me say that I don't like Trini guys and think I"m being a hypocrite, I mainly say it because most of the Trini guys I've come across have managed to be jerks to me, but I'm still open to the idea, and that doesn't mean I don't like colored people =) okay? okay! Feel free to hate, especially that set of people who this post is dedicated to. =D

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

More CAPE Joys

           Sniff* Sniff* It smells like CAPE time?!?! Woot! Woot! =P Yes, you know it's that lovely time of the year  again, when the Poui trees blossom, the cane fields burn and exams try to kills us =) Sigh* It's that time when we should be studying, yet everything else seems soooo appealing.... I would know all about that, since that's pretty much what I'm doing right now lolz. So instead of learning chem, in which I'm completely lost, I'm here blogging and as much as I want to change that I can't bring myself to it, sadly.The most terrifying thing about this though, is that it's my last year and there really is no redemption after this... but what's more terrifying than that; are my parents, who are looking forward to a scholarship...open =/ Nothing comes without hard work, and my parents happen to be very aware of that, so at night when I'm laughing on the phone, all you can hear is, "I HOPE YOU'RE STUDYING!", and when I sit down to watch t.v, " I REL LIKE HOW YOU STUDYING!", and when I close my eyes to sleep, "HOW YUH COULD STUDY WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED!?!?" Yes, I hear it all the time 24/7, I swear I hear them saying it even when  they're not talking!?! Oh it's horrible, you can't waste time peacefully at all because you're too paranoid that your parents will jump out of nowhere and cuss you =) Well in my last cape post I was freaking out over chemistry, and well readers I did get a one [ incase you were wondering] and I was soooo super friggin' surprised?!?! Words can't express?! But I couldn't scream out with cape joys because, when my dad called to tell me my results, he told me that I had failed everything and seriously began lecturing me about spending too much time on the phone... so I was still recovering from that =/ Anyway I believe I became more religious to thank God for this miracle... well I tried my very best, so yea. As you can see I'm keeping all my promises here and well since I'm keeping my promises I must say that I will be seeing my chem people this year. I haven't blogged in such a long time that I'm writing shit, so to the point.... CAPE is 23 days away so that means we need to start studying... however, after you watch these pics =P; which describe my situation/ life and probably yours if you're online reading this, instead of a textbook lolz. Well if you remember my pencils from my first CAPE post... this is to add to it... 

Pencils with answers would be nice, but I think a nicer piece of advice at this time is to Keep Calm and well carry on with your studies =)

This is so me! I always ask myself this question especially when it's time to study followed by nonsensical jabber to get all the stupid out before I attempt starting again lolz.... Ok never mind, thinking about it, I ask myself this question all the time actually =S. But I'm sure you all mentally ask yourselves this before study time.

Lolz yes!!! They always see you when you're on the phone, on the computer, sprawling doing nothing and they complain about how lazy you are.... so these few weeks that you study, you must reap the rewards and let them see that. Hahaha parents, complain about that!! =P

This is pretty much what study means to me.. except texting because I never have money on my phone, but for all you rich bastards out there ;) lolz.

I don't want to study, I want to paint instead =(

I won't doubt that the thought has crossed the minds of many.


My thoughts exactly!

Lolz they're true, except for the results one, hopefully. What did I say about procrastinating?!?! It is the work of the devil I tell you!

Let's avoid saying/ thinking this =)

Oh how I wish I could perform such great feats! If you are capable of this, I respect you and envy you and at the same time I hate you for being so bloody brilliant. Salute*

You can say that again Dan the Rad! I mean at the end of it all, once we tried our 'bestest' there's nothing else that could be said or done, and there will be nothing to feel bad about. So just making an attempt is pretty satisfactory.

Err... Does this even need a caption???

Ok ok, I'm through with wasting your time, go do your shit now, because regardless of not studying before, there are still like 22 days ahead and we could make use of that. So yea Good luck my people, hopefully this was inspiring and when you all win your scholarships and awards, you can be like, "Screw my teachers, forget about my parents and siblings, friends, cats and dogs, and my own human intellect, I would like to thank Hindi Bindi for making me study my lazy ass off'. =D