Saturday, September 17, 2011

Things Guys Do [3].

Dear  guys,
                          You are all truly arseholes!
                                                                               Sincerely, Yours Truly.

Warning: This is the hard core truth, don't read on if you can't handle it.

         When I say guys, I mean all, even those that I haven't spoken to, trust me one way or the other I've heard about you from a girl I know =/ [ how very creepy lolz]. Ok so maybe I was being a bit harsh there when I said all, because some of you aren't arseholes, just jerks. So are you an arsehole or a jerk? Well that would depend on what you've done lately.
         If you're the kinda guy that forgets a girl's name after talking to her on several occasions, yet you have the ability to remember all of her friends names after rarely speaking to them; Then you're an arsehole. If you're the kinda guy that walks up to two girls and talks directly to one of them without so much as acknowledging the presence of the other; Then you're still an arsehole. If you refuse to talk to a girl because you think she's stupid because she doesn't do science subjects or subjects like physics and maths; Then you're a jerk. If you're the kinda guy that thinks he's better than everyone on every level of life; Then you're a jerkish arsehole =).
       So with that said, it brings us to our third post of things guys do. I know I haven't posted this in a long time, and well I kept prolonging it... so I guess I have to come better than ever; hence why I'm delivering the truth! The hardcore truth! Anyways, we got back our CAPE results and well yea I surprisingly did good[ Praise be to God =D]. So I guess this calls for a celebration and this is why I will now continue my list of things guys do. But before I do that I just want to re iterate the fact that the rest of the male species, particularly in Trinidad... are mostly arseholes; especially that limited bunch of people that are presently present in a party parallel to mine own. [not to call names =)] <--- idk if you all are smart enough to catch on to what is trying to be said in that last line, lmao it probs makes no sense anyway =)

Things Guys do:-

9. Guys like to seem cool on Facebook.
     Ok so fb is a questionable place to meet new people. Simply because people can lie about themselves online.  I mean nobody can speak all those languages they say they can speak but you go ahead and think, 'Oh my he's so exotic' and 'Oh la la, he knows French and Arabic ;)', all this time that guy can barely speak English properly [ yar bwoi]. And what about those pictures, those lovely photo shopped pics??? And when you see them in real life, you're thinking, ' nah nah that cyah be he, nah the guy I see online was better looking...that is probs he brodda' =/ . What about those witty remarks? That are posted up like 5 minutes later and you're they're laughing thinking, 'omg he's so funny and smart'..... I bet he Googled that shit =). Try having a convo with that same person in real life, I'm sure it wud be pretty boring and well 5 mins responses just kills any attempt at a real conversation. Well the main point here is that these guys may seem really cool on fb but in reality they are really retarded. For example, those guys who have like a million girls posting on their wall... yea you may think that he's a real player or that he's a real lady's man since all these girls want to talk to him..... but that is not so. So yea I have come to realize that the only reason why some of these guys have so many girls writing on their wall is simply because  THEY TELL THEM TO. Yes, some people have the nerve to ask you, wait not ask, but TELL you to write on their wall, to comment on their status, to go like their picture and comment on their pics as well. And the thing is, you barely know these people! If they're you're close friends then that's something else, but no they're just people you met once or twice =S And well some girls may be guilty of this as well, but truth is, I've never came across one =|
So if you're one the people who like to ask people to write on your wall so you seem cool, plz don't do that. It only makes you seem sadder than you already are. Also refrain from being the only person to like your own status, comment on your own status and then like that same comment... because that's sad as well.

10. Guys obsess over the stache.
      Well guys just go crazy when it comes to facial hair. It's a bit odd =S. Ok  so I understand the whole 'omg I have a mustache, I'm on my way to becoming a man' scene.... but it gets weird. You all try to grow it like a bloody chia, count your hair follicles and comb it! 
  So this picture sums up the types of beards existing today. It's not the most accurate, but it should suffice.
So basically I have nothing against facial hair... as long as it looks good. So yea many girls don't like facial hair at all, but I'm pro beard. ;) And if you're doing it right I'm sure other girls won't mind as well.

But what I do have a problem with, is teenage boys and their beginner stache =S, which is also referred to as 'Teenager' in the graphic above. Beginner Stache..., you all know what I'm talking about! Those ew strands of hair that add zest to a teenage boy's upper lip =S =S =S! So I have a younger brother and I totally get that feeling of manhood that consumes your immature heart. I totally understand that thrill of noticing that second strand of hair. However, what I don't understand is when a big 19 year old boy is walking around with beginner stache!


You are now a legal adult in several countries around the world, you can vote, you can drive and it's about high time you have a shave =/ It completely confuses me!! Here's the down low.... beginner stache is not only wrong, it's repulsive =) Ok so you're 16 and mommy and daddy won't let you shave as yet because they don't want you to think you're a man as yet or what not- I understand, but during this period it's necessary that you know that it's not your best time to be running down girls. But if you're 19,  well above 18, your parents know that you're a man now and the only reason you have that dutty caterpillar is because you think it looks good!  IT DOESN'T. Shaving early has no physiological consequences, except for maybe hair follicles growing back thicker...but that's an advantage on your behalf. Like I said I have nothing against moustaches if it looks like this of course. ;)

11. Guys are hypocrites.
     Ok well I must say that this is by far one of the most annoying things that guys do. It's soo misleading and deceitful, I'd much rather hear the truth. Ok so  you may have heard guys say that girls are the biggest hypocrites ever, and while that may have a tinge of truth to it, they cant wash their hands clean of being hypocrites themselves. And well as guys can be hypocrites just as much as girls, nobody could beat them at being hypocrites to attraction. Now this just makes me laugh! Well I dare you to approach any guy and ask him to describe his perfect dream girl, it should sound something like this; well she has to be pretty, smart,weird, funny and nice. Ok well that's just the basic things you WILL hear, you might even hear more. The thing about it is that guys don't go for those girls that they say they like, instead they go for the opposite, while yes the girls they go for may be pretty but they lack intelligence, humour and can be total biacthes.... and well I guess this just goes to show where their priorities are at. The only thing that matters to guys are looks, a pretty face don't even cut if half the times, they're more interested in a girl with a good body than a beautiful face and a sweet heart. And I guess I just wish they would admit rather than lying about it, making themselves look foolish. [Much respect to the guy that's not afraid to say what he wants]. And well I'm not saying that it's good just to want a girls for their appearances which may satisfy your contactual desires, I'm saying that it's better to be honest. Truth be told, if you are such a  shallow bastard that you can only see what the eyes let you see then you are seriously immature and undeserving of a relationship. 
So some people may say that guys truly do want smart, pretty, weird, funny , nice girls and the only reason why they go for the opposite is because they are easier to get. I find that even more degrading to girls! There are pretty girls who act dumb to get guys, there are funny girls who never get guys, and well truly guys don't want a girl who's truly weird, they just want one who will call themselves weird... truth be told, I've never met a guy who can handle the real sense of weird and still be attracted to that girl. So dear guys, if you think that lying can hide your bad morals and your lack of testosterone to make you seem like the wholesome gentlemen that you are not.... it doesn't, you just seem like the world's saddest hypocrite a.k.a world's biggest jerk =)

yes tom, looksare mere features hence why you're dating a model.

12. Guys complain about girls not liking the good boy.
      So another annoying thing that guys do is complain about how mean girls are. Not all the guys do this, usually only the pathetic ones; you can find them in a corner bitching about how unfair life is because they can't get a woman. If you have a heart like myself and sit down to listen to them and their problems it sounds a little like this, " I just don't get girls, they only like the bad boys! I do so many nice things for them and they never appreciate it, they never realize it. They just don't like the good guys!! They always say they're done with assholes like their ex-boyfriends, they want a change?!?! But no! I'm that change, and they never want me!!!! You know what?!?!?!?! I'm going to become a bad boy!!!! I don't care anymore!!!!" I'm not even going to make a little reference story with my padna Patraj, because every every every every guy thinks this and has probably complained like that to someone already. But you know what?? I'm fed up with this jackarse-ishness. This is truly something that annoys me. Why? Because guys don't listen! I gave this speech soo many times before, that this is definitely the last time I'm going to explain this. I usually don't mind helping people with their problems and stuff, it is flattering that I can be trusted... but this problem!?!? This problem is like an epidemic and it needs to be publicly addressed, and I swear if anyone comes and complains about this again.... I going to send you the link to this post. So watch yourself lolz. Ok so addressing the problem; Guys, I know that you all like to think you're different, you're special, some girl will be lucky to have you one day... But you're not. You're just like every other male specimen on this planet. You all think the same exact way, just your level of pigheadedness is variable. Girls, all guys are the same. Don't spend your time looking for one that's different, cause that's wasting time. It's like looking for a sparkly vampire! That shite doesn't exist!!! Just find one that's tolerable. Ok well now that we've established that all guys are the same, we therefore know that they all want the same thing. So when a guy comes up to me and says that they're different, I'm just thinking..bullshittt.. Guys say they're good guys when they can't get a girl, it doesn't neccessarily mean that they are good guys. And since they're all the same then they're all bad boys but let's take a look at a previous post----> is the bad boy theory which states that girls want a good guy who looks like a bad boy. So becoming a bad boy will not help your situation. What pisses me off the most though, is that these guys will cry and be like, "ohh this girl doesn't want me, I'll never get a girlfriend.Why do girls only like the hott guys, why won't they lower their standards just a notch". So then you ask to see this girl, and it's like one of  freeking Victoria's freeking models :O And you're like ahem* Mr.Buttomface, look at what you want, be realistic and talk about lowering standards?!?! Wow that's just a double standard! If you know what I mean =P And it's just a fact of life that if an alpha male and a wimpy male are competing for the same thing, the alpha male will obviously win, thus leaving the wimpy male to run in a corner and tote. So guys  be realistic, look for love that can actually exist. And when I say that, I don't mean settle for some girl who's below your standards and use her, because you would hate to be in her position. There is someone out there for everyone, you just gotta keep looking ;)

    Well I hope that this was informative and that I changed your life completely and that you're now a better person, you are therefore welcome. I also hope that I wasn't too harsh and that you all still love me.. well hindi bindi lolz. Any problems? Just comment! I'd love to address them=D. Oh btw hindi bindi bloggers got through to Pottermore! YAYYY!! And well we both got sorted into Ravenclaw!!!YAYYY!!!! Just thought that that was worth a mention, so now you know that you're getting advice from very smart bithcy people... accurate!  So till next time folks...

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